Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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