what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
