how can u be prego again
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
