morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
