Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
