Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i dont even know how to be here
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
