I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
