Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
