happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
