I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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