As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
