just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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