What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
