yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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