She announced her abortion via fbk
Is it because I queefed?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
