Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
