True but thats because hes a fetus.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
