this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
