Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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