So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
