Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
"it" just moved
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
