Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize