I'm sorry my penis didn't work
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
