New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
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