Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize