found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
