I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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