Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
