Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
