I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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