All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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