Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
