toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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