i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
