Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
