umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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