Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
