Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
