I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
