Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
