There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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