If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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