It's like a parade of train wrecks.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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