I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I want you more than these girls want KFC
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
