I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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