Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
she was so not down for the gang bang
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize