Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
