i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
