im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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