I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
