So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
