Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
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