Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
