one might say we're banned from that church
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
