so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
They have beer where we have blood.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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