I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
