i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
