then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
