paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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