So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
