did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
