just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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