I think I died a long time ago.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
