On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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