I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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