Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
