i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
