6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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